Cabi dead in "who cares it's all the fault of videogames anyway" shocker!!

In a tragic series of events, an innocent cab driver has been stabbed to death by a teenager in Thailand, who says he was trying to copy the violent video game Grand Theft Auto IV.

Polwat Chino (that's the teenager's name, btw) told authorities he was addicted to the sick and twisted video game, that we haven't played.

Chino hailed a taxi in Bangkok and when it came time to pay the fare, he stabbed the 54-year-old driver to death - clearly indicating that he was a well balanced individual before this blood-thirsty game took hold of him. We're about to play it - wish us luck.

Police quoted Polwat as saying in a statement: "I needed money to play the game every day. My parents give me only 100 baht a day, which is not enough. I am also fed up with them fighting." No, we aren't making this up. This is what he said. See what that horrible horrible game (which we are now playing, God help us) has done to this clearly sane and innocent and untroubled young man.

He has been charged with robbery causing death and possessing offensive weapons. We on the other hand, have not, despite playing GTA IV. We can also at this stage report that GTA IV is pretty good, if a little overlong and repetitive at times.

Grand Theft Auto games have sold more than 70 million copies worldwide. We expect this fact to terrify the bejesus out of you - especially if you're a cabi. In Thailand.

Videogamers play a character called Niko Bellic who rises through the underworld of 'Liberty City' through violent means. Of course, his bodycount pales into insiginificance compared to the cadavers that have been stacked up in real-life by football hooligans and organised religion. But don't go joining the dots on us now.

Gordon Brown's position in office received yet another blow today when he appeared in the house of commons wearing a T-shirt bearing the legend "I love videogames - especially Grand Theft Auto IV! You get to kill hookers and stab cabis! All children under the age of 12 should play this game!"

*Later this week, regular columnist Buck Wilbury profiles famous videogame players Robert Mugabe and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and demonstrates conclusively that how videogames are responsible for HIV and AIDS.